SPOILER: Mary Poppins kills Voldemort

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I think Harry Potter might need some help.

Poppins was Britain's original bad-ass.

So I am not sure how to react to this. It's absolutely bizarre but also kind of wonderful. The Times of London has leaked that the opening ceremonies of the 2012 Summer Olympics in London will involve a carefully choreographed battle scene between 30-40 life-sized Mary Poppins and a 40 foot Lord Voldemort surrounded by a group of dementors.

Yes, you read that correctly. A gaggle of Mary Poppinses will descend from the ceiling of the stadium, swarm the Dark Lord and his Dementor army, and save the Olympics. It's even more odd than that, but I just can't find a way to describe all I've read.

Poppins, best known for her no-nonsense approach to cleaning shit up, is an odd choice to go up against He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, even if she is magical. How, you might be asking, did the British come up with such a thing? The truth is, I don't think even they know. However, my best hypothesis is that they are using the Olympic opening ceremonies to pay tribute to the British masters of surrealist comedy, Monty Python. Or, they were drunk on Gin.

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  1. SPOILER: Mary Poppins kills Voldemort | One Stop News Stand 25 July, 2012 at 20:06

    […] Poppins, best known for her no-nonsense approach to cleaning shit up, is an odd choice to go up against He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, even if she is magical. How, you might be asking, did the British come up with such a thing? The truth is, I don't think even they know. However, my best hypothesis is that they are using the Olympic opening ceremonies to pay tribute to the British masters of surrealist comedy, Monty Python. Or, they were drunk on Gin. The Carillon […]

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