Zombies are real

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(From left to right) Marcus Luk, Mykel Exner, and Dusty Exner are ready to kick some zombie butt.

(From left to right) Marcus Luk, Mykel Exner, and Dusty Exner are ready to kick some zombie butt.

Wait…what?

Article: Destiny Kaus – A&C Writer

[dropcaps round=”no”]T[/dropcaps]he members of Kill Matilda, a Vancouver-based punk rock band, not only play some sick tunes, but they also fight against the zombie epidemic on the side.

Fronted by female vocalist Dusty Exner, Kill Matilda toured in 2011 with their album I Want Revenge. Unfortunately, shortly after this tour, Michael Exner, the bass player and Dusty’s husband, became extremely ill. *cue horrified, suspense-filled gasp*

Dusty Exner says, “He was diagnosed with quite a rare condition. He had a large tumour growing around his carotid artery.”

Oh my goodness gracious. You can’t get much scarier than that. At that time, obviously, Kill Matilda’s music career came to a halt.

Though they had written three songs in 2012 and three more songs in 2013, they could not spend their time and energy producing a killer new album due to Michael’s health. Instead, they waited until the spring of 2013, after Michael had his successful surgery, to get back at ‘er with their music.

Thus, Kill Matilda’s new album #punk#zombie#rocknroll enters the music scene in 2014. Hashtags and all, this album includes a graphic novel music video and the six songs written in the years 2012 and 2013 that never got recognition during Michael’s battle with his health. Sweet right?

Better yet, Kill Matilda is currently on tour and will play in Regina on March 26 at the Exchange to promote #punk#zombie#rocknroll. So, get your hashtags ready Regina, and prepare yourselves to punk out to some hard-core rock and roll.

But, Kill Matilda’s story goes much deeper than just their history in the music industry. In their spare time, Kill Matilda combats the highly contagious zombie epidemic. I’m not joking.

“We make a little money on the side by really quietly managing the zombie threats from town to town,” says Dusty.

Evidently, Dusty and her husband, Michael, are obsessed with zombies and the fact that zombies often appear in society due to an engineered virus by the military.

Dusty says, “so here in Canada, the Canadian military actually has a code name for this virus: Matilda.”

Boom. Hello band name. But, wait. Does the Canadian military actually have a code name for a zombie virus?

Despite my Google searches, I couldn’t find any information on this Matilda code. Therefore, either this code exists and its information is just not open to the public, or this code doesn’t exist at all.

Interestingly enough though, according to Canada’s Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), the coming Zombie Apocalypse is a valid concern.

In fact, according to their website, CDC has created a graphic novel as well as an informational document stating what to do when zombies threaten society.

OH MY GOSH THE ZOMBIES ARE ACTUALLY COMING!

Additionally, Dusty says, “Michael actually was previously employed by CSIS (Canadian Secret Intelligent Services). He was working as an agent for them.”

Thus, Michael got all the inside scoops about zombie threats, but ended up leaving CSIS in order to publically warn society about the coming zombies.

Dusty says, “He just had to go public with that shit.”

Oh sweet mercy. Now that I’m ridiculously creeped out, I’m going to go hide underneath my blankets and hope I don’t get infected by the zombie epidemic.

[button style=”e.g. solid, border” size=”e.g. small, medium, big” link=”” target=””]Image: Terryis Grane[/button]