Sports Roundtable – March 7


RBB Texas VS Kansas 24Let the madness begin

Braden Dupuis, Paige Kreutzwiser, Autumn McDowell

With so many more campus teams reaching the playoffs this year, which Cougars team would you deem the “most improved”?

Dupuis: I believe that honour’s gotta go to the men’s hockey team, who not only improved on last season, but finished with their best record in years. Having TJ behind the bench provided a much-needed spark, and hopefully the program can build on this success moving forward.

Kreutzwiser: So they are not really seen as a “team” per se (even though they should be, because if you’ve ever watched Bring It On you’d get how competitive that shit is) but the Cheerleading team is most improved for sure. They got a picture with Mr. Wall – that’s cool, right?

McDowell: Well, let’s put it this way. Last year, when I did a playoff roundup for the Cougars teams, my hook was “Wow, we suck at making the playoffs.” That was because we literally only had one Cougars team make the playoffs, but this year it’s much different. Anyway, having said all of that pointless information, my choice is the men’s team for making the playoffs for the first time since 2008-09.

As of press time, the Los Angeles Lakers are currently two points back of the final playoff spot. Do you think they will make the playoffs this year?

Dupuis: Kobe Bryant and Steve Nash star in this year’s must-see buddy-comedy event, “Black Mamba, White Pygmy.” When miniscule Canadian Nash signs with Kobe and the Lakers, they’re thought to be instant contenders – until the unthinkable happens! They’re disappointingly average, and they miss the playoffs. Wow. That was uninspired. Whatever, OK? I’m tired.

Kreutzwiser: Black Mamba always comes through, unlike Kevin Martin’s team this year.

McDowell: God I hope so. It’s going to be rather embarrassing if they don’t make the playoffs after bringing Nash and D12 in this year in an attempt to construct a super team whose sole purpose was to combat Miami’s super team. The Lakers are on the verge of a fail. Having said all that, I do think that they will make the playoffs. In typical fashion, it will be down to the wire and Kobe will sink a buzzer beater to win and move onto the playoffs. Dammit he’s clutch.

What do you think about the Saskatchewan Roughriders adding the 2012 Grey Cup’s Most Valuable Canadian, Ricky Foley, to their defensive line?

Dupuis: This is a pretty huge signing, and it’s obviously not the first made by Riders management this off-season. It’s nice to see that they’re serious about challenging for the Grey Cup on home turf. Now I just need to lock down a media pass and I’m set, because God knows I can’t afford to pay my own way.

Kreutzwiser: Football? Psh, let’s talk about how Kevin Martin’s team is kind of shitting the bed in the Brier.  

McDowell: I like it. I like it a lot. Not so much that I would run out and purchase his jersey, but I’m really happy that the Riders are making an effort to put together a good team so that we can potentially win at home. Just think of the parties, people. In other random news, I recently purchased a vintage Riders shirt from when they hosted the Grey Cup in 1995 at Value Village. It’s like finding gold. Seriously, not one stain on it, surprisingly.

It’s that time of the year again. How much of NCAA’s March Madness will you be watching this year?

Dupuis: Here’s a recipe for March Madness: one job, five classes, two-dozen deadlines, a bone-dry bank account and a consistent, nagging neck-injury. If I don’t have time to call my own mother on her birthday, I doubt I’ll find time to watch American college basketball. Editor’s note: You have two cheques in the office, Braden.

Kreutzwiser: Going to set up my bracket right away, if only school would just back off. I have to PVR the Brier because of school overload. Dammit school, always getting in the way of everything.

McDowell: I’ll watch the final four, but probably not much more than that I reckon. March Madness is just another opportunity for the US to show how much better their basketball, facilities and fans are, and the fact that I can’t even argue against their supremeness really bothers me. I’m seeing red right now.

The Montreal Canadiens are currently ranked 1st in the Eastern Conference. How long do you think they will stay at the top?

Dupuis: Asking me anything about my Habs is a dangerous game. I could fill this section and then some with my drunken ramblings concerning the highs and lows of Les Glorieux, but I’ll be brief. Their insta-turnaround this year has been surprising, but not undeserved. They won’t finish the season on top, but they’ll make the playoffs. Then the drive for 25 begins in earnest. #raisethetorch.

Kreutzwiser: Till they finish. Oooo! Wait, is that too raunchy to put in a newspaper? Or am I the only one who had their mind in the gutter for this question?

McDowell: Like, when the hell did this happen, seriously? They buy out Gomez and then, boom, they’re at the top. If Montreal had known that all it would take to actually win games was to get rid of that cancer, they would have done it a long time ago.

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