Modern love and the rise of dating shows
Why do we love watching other people navigate love?
From Love Island to The Bachelor to Love is Blind, dating shows have taken the world by storm. For the longest time, I have wondered what this says about us.
I personally believe that love and romance are dying. Our obsession with dating shows have left us in a world where the mere concept of love is a spectacle. Netflix’s current dating show Love is Blind proves this to be true.
Love is Blind is a show where people are invited to test out the theory that love is blind, by dating and perhaps falling in love without being able to see each other physically. Additionally, both parties have around a month to get married. During this time, they are able to date, get engaged, go on a vacation together, move in together, and eventually end up at the altar to decide whether they want to marry the person that they chose or not.
Throughout this process, we as the viewers are exposed to drama, arguments, fights, and the worst aspects of relationships. This show has managed to turn the entire concept of love and marriage into entertainment, rather than a personal, private experience.
We are able to see everything a couple is thinking as they think it. We are exposed to their most private arguments and fights, some that are often traumatizing. Additionally, these types of shows portray an unrealistic expectation of love.
This makes me wonder, are we drawn to the fantasy of love as opposed to the reality? Are we in love with the idea of love, rather than the reality of unconditionally loving someone?
These shows portray love to be fast-paced, dramatic, hot and cold, thereby sensationalizing relationships. In some instances, contestants are put in dangerous situations with people who are not safe for their well-being, and, as the audience, there is nothing left to do but criticize it whilst simultaneously consuming this form of catastrophic content.
Dating shows portray a curated version of love. One that is fast-paced, commodified, transactional, and problematic in nature. It almost seems that dating shows love bomb the audience.
We are quick to love a couple and despise another. We view romance as an essence that is now or never. It must be consuming, fast-paced, and happen the way that we want it to, rather than allowing it to happen naturally.
My view of love has always been that true love is slow. It takes time to build. It takes time to grow. And as it grows, it changes and transforms through each stage.
Moreover, these shows portray an inauthentic version of love. One with people who are often there to promote their social media accounts.
It is also important to note that many of these shows feature situations where contestants are being taken advantage of and abused emotionally or verbally. There is a lack of counselling available to contestants.
And after these shows air, contestants are expected to deal with the aftermath on their own, with no form of assistance whatsoever. Contestants become puppets of shows that do not prioritize their emotional well-being nor their mental health.
All in all, dating shows are optimistic in nature. We tune in because at our core, we all want to experience love, and more than that, we enjoy watching other people experience love. Deep down, we are cheering for happy endings, even in situations where it is unlikely.
