The Oscars suck. They’re bland, boring, safe, and overlong. And yet we’re all going to tune in on Feb. 26 watch them because we basically have nothing better to do without our Sunday night. We’ll spend most of our time commenting on who Meryl Streep is wearing or how nostalgic it is to have Billy Crystal hosting again. So if it will be the most unbearable three hours we subject ourselves to this month, why not at least turn it into an extended drinking game?
Here's how it's going to be from now on:
1. Print out the bingo cards and give one to each of your friends
2. Pour yourself 24 shots. Tequila is best, but we’ll also accept gin, vodka, and rum. (Whiskey is for sipping.)
3. As soon as the Oscar telecast starts, take a shot. That’s your Billy Crystal free space.
4. Every time you see one of the squares listed on your bingo card, take a shot, and place the shot glass on the space.
5. If you get a line, everyone else drinks.
6. If you get a blackout, you black out. (Just kidding! Please drink responsibly, make sure you have a ride home, et cetera.)