Do-It-Yourself home workouts

Like a zoom lecture, but more rewarding. Kari Shea (Unsplash)

Home workouts have never been easier.

With the chilly months creeping up on us so is that inevitable winter weight. But who wants to pay those pricey gym fees and brave the icy wind to get there? That does not sound desirable to anyone if you ask me. I present to you, workouts on a dime. All you need is some everyday household items and enough motivation to collect them! 

First, you will need a couple two litre milk jugs. Doesn’t matter whether you drink 2% or skim. Just make sure you aren’t using the flimsy cardboard cartons for this. Next, you’ll want to ensure that you’ve drank all the milk out of these as you won’t want to be crying over spilt milk later on. Normally I would suggest filling these with sand; however the ground is now pretty frozen, so filling them with water will also do the trick. You will want to fill both of them with the same amount of water. Don’t fill them with more water than you think you’ll be able to easily carry. Now that you’re set up it’s time for everyone’s favourite thing, bicep curls! Just because the sun isn’t out doesn’t mean that the guns can’t be out. Ensure that you tuck your elbows close to the body to minimize risk of injury and if you need to swing to lift them drink some of that water because it’s too heavy for you. 

For all you shoe hoarders this next one is for you. You know that old pair of heels you bought 3 years ago that are just slightly too high for you to walk in without looking like a deer on ice? You’re going to want to grab those badboys and put them on. Place yourself next to a wall or grab a chair to help stabilize yourself and squat like your life depends on it. This raised squat will help burn out your calves and quads like never before. For a little bit more of a challenge sink it really low into that squat and pulse. If you can still walk to the next day you aren’t trying hard enough. 

This next one is for all my gamers. Don’t panic though, you still get to sit for this one so you’re not too far out of your comfort zone. During the matches of your respected game, you will need to set yourself up on the floor. For the entire duration of your match you will need to plant your feet on the floor so your knees are bent before leaning your torso back at a 45 degree angle. Don’t forget to keep your chest up (don’t fold yourself up like the Costco breakfast burritos you keep microwaving at 3 a.m.). Hold this pose until your match is done. You will have abs of steel by the time you’re done this.

Most people have pets that get curious as soon as you get down to their level on the floor, or at the very least a younger sibling that will do the trick. Grab your pet or sibling of choice and find yourself a coffee table or kitchen chair, whichever is better for your height. Time to work on those tricep dips! Set your hands on the edge of your furniture of choice with your face looking towards the ceiling. All you’re going to do is move your arms so you’re pushing yourself up before bringing yourself back down. Where does your creature of choice come into play you ask? Well they’re going to be curious as to what you’re doing and want to climb on you and smell you or cuddle up underneath you. You need to keep going until either your arms collapse and you threaten squishing your poor companion or until they leave. For your sake I hope you all have cats that could care less what you’re up to. 

Finally for my absolute favourite exercise. You’re going to go into your kitchen and grab some bread: white, whole wheat, rye, whatever you want. Then grab some turkey, mustard and lettuce. Throw as much as you want onto one of the slices of bread before gently setting the other one on top. You will then proceed to briskly walk from your kitchen into your living room. Slowly squatting, as you didn’t do enough of those earlier, you’ll ease down onto the couch you’ll use your very tired abdominal muscles to lean back. Curling those very sore biceps you’ll bring what is more commonly known as a sandwich up to your mouth to enjoy. Once you have completed this daunting task you will proceed to kick back and relax every muscle, including your eyelids for a recommended 45 minutes. For optimal results bring your companion of choice with you.

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