author: ethan butterfield | a&c editor

What? / Jeremy Davis

The Grinch ain’t got nothing on me

Am I alone on this? Probably not, considering that there are 7.5 billion people on this planet. Still, though, it arrives earlier and earlier each year and I feel like I’m the only one that can’t stand it anymore (at least externally). Yes, friends, tis’ the season to walk through the mall (or anywhere really) and listen to shitty Christmas music as you wonder where it all went wrong. Well, I’ll tell you were it all went wrong: when you started wandering through a mall listening to shitty Christmas music.

Now, I’m usually a pretty upbeat guy…usually. But there’s something about the festivities of the holiday season coming out in November that I just can’t seem to wrap my head around. Look, I get this is a special time of year, I really do. At the same time, though, I just can’t get excited about something that’s still more than a month away! People! It’s not even December yet!

My own heated anger aside, it seems like I’m not the only one with something against this parade of early Christmas festivities. Someone who is also against the consent stream of jolly jackhole nonsense that comes into the frame, season after season. Well…. maybe the first part more than the second.
Long story short, an anonymous commenter shared their own experiences with this: “The Santa Claus Parade ended at my place of employment, the Northgate Mall, and everyone in Regina, up to and including furries, who blare pop-punk covers of Christmas carols from inside their fursuits, decided that that was the day to celebrate their Christmas spirit. IT’S NOT EVEN DECEMBER YET!”

I’m glad that I’m not alone in this external anguish, I’ll say that much. Honestly, it feels like every year I’m becoming more and more in-tune with the Grinch. Not because I want to steal anyone’s Christmas, mind you, but more so that I’m groaning at the thought of seeing any kind of decoration. I’m not some stick-in-the-mud, though. I can unwind with an eggnog and Bailey’s like the grown-ass adult that I am (even during November).

This all taken into account, I think folks can safely say that my distaste for early Christmas is alive and well. Again, not that I’m upset at Christmas itself, just at the idea that it needs to kick-off so soon in a completely different month. If you’re a fan of the celebrations, however, than by all means, enjoy them. The Christmas season is meant for all! If you want to build gingerbread houses, put candy canes on trees, hang stockings over the fire, go for it! If you need me, I’ll be waiting for December to start so I can enjoy all of those things too. Except for the eggnog and Baileys thing.

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