A roof by any other name

This is where your doom rests./ Brett Nielsen

Do you really want people choosing the names for these residences?

Authors: The Staff, For Better and Worse

The University of Regina has recently announced that it will have a naming contest for its new residences. We here at the Carillon won’t be around to actually see these erected. However, we still wish to contribute our rapier wits and our sophisticated humour to this enterprise. Therefore, as a parting gift to our alma mater, we give the University our entries for the new residence’s name. Enjoy, and farewell!

Faulty Towers

The Parker’s Downfall

The Other Expensive Status Symbol

Piss Bottle Offsale

Timmons’ Folly/ Chase’s Downfall

Gulag by Chartwells

Residence 1 and 2

Pamela Wallin’s Honorary Dormitory

Even Newer Residences

Vanderberg Heights

Flood Life Vol. 1: A Flood of New Experiences (ft. Snoop Dogg)

Hookers / Blow

Towers of Babble

Wall’s Austere Apartments

Not-Affordable Housing

In addition to the names, we also have some snappy slogans to capture the new residence lifestyle.

Come for the fees, stay for the debt!

We, like, spent several shiny signs’ worth to house you. Be grateful!

Ten Times as Fast as Capital Pointe

No URSU Candidate will want to go here!

Just the encouragement you need to finish your degree!

And you thought Mount Doom was bad

We fuck you good, we fuck you right, and we fuck you tight!

You might experience the first ever pipe burst this year!

The Horror…The Horror

Give those Campion professors a show.