Sports Roundtable – Sept. 20


NHL13 will have to give fans their hockey fix until further notice

Braden Dupuis, Jhett Folk, Britton Gray, Kris Klein

How would you describe your first experience at a University of Regina Rams or Cougars game?

Dupuis: I talk about this in-depth in another article in this issue, but I might as well sum it up here. My first experience was at a women’s volleyball game in my first year, and I’d say it was pretty damn enjoyable. Despite the poor attendance, the action was watchable and the beer was cold, and that’s enough for me.

Folk: My first experience at a Rams game was very exciting. The Rams were facing the U of S Huskies last season and the game was extremely back and forth. It was pretty intense the whole time, but man was it a joy to watch!

Gray: I’ve only been to one Rams football game but it was pretty good, but I think we should hire a new promoter for Rams games. Maybe Jackie Moon? Imagine the possibilities: free corn dog night, the U of R Rams mega bowl and of course, Jackie Moon will fight a bear at mid field.

Klein: Well have to say it was kind of shitty because the men’s hockey team was getting their ass kicked. Big surprise, eh? But I have to say my last two experiences at the women’s soccer games were fantastic. It had everything: goals, saves, and some crazy old lady screaming her head off.

Pat Quinn was the recent guest speaker at the athletes breakfast. If you were in charge, who would you have as the guest speaker at next years breakfast?

Dupuis: This is a tough question, but only because I’m not nearly athletic enough to be invited to anything called an “athletes breakfast.” A year from now might be a bit late for it, but I’d say Gary Bettman, just so I could punch him in his stupid, ugly face.

Folk: I would have Paul Bissonette be the guest speaker of the next athlete’s breakfast. A. The guy is a beauty. B. The guy can grow a killer stache. And C. The guy is hilarious! I mean, it’s Biznasty. Who wouldn’t want to meet that guy?

Gray: Next year, I say we bring in someone who hasn’t coached the Maple Leafs. I say we bring in Gary Bettman so that he can talk for about five seconds and then we begin to pelt him with tomatoes and lettuce and other things related to salads.

Klein: Theo Fluery. Not only was this guy a great hockey player in his time, this guy was fucking nuts. He would get high on coke, play his game, score three goals, then go and get high with the hobos in Calgary all night. If that doesn’t make you legendary nothing will.

Single game tickets for the Lingerie Football League can reach upwards of $75, how much would you be willing to pay for seats?

Dupuis: Nothing. Considering I can watch sports on TV for free, or on campus with my student card, why would I shell out $75 for sub-par football featuring skanky nobodies? There’s this new development in technology – don’t know if you’ve heard – it’s called the internet. There’s plenty of skanky nobodies to watch on there, also for free.

Folk: I’d pay 50 bucks tops. No offense to the league or anything, but it doesn’t exactly have a big enough fan base to demand higher prices. That’s just my opinion of course, but I can’t see myself paying upwards of $75.

Gray: About $20, anything over that is really a waste of money. Yeah, you can watch girls in underwear tackle each other and that’s awesome, but is $75 worth it when we have the internet now? I doubt the quality of football is great, but the nachos may be.

Klein: I am willing to pay that price once just to see what the big deal is about. But you know who is willing to play that much? Horny old men. There is nothing creepier than a horny old man with a hard-on at a football game. Don’t ask me how I know that…

If you were the head coach of the Saskatchewan Roughriders, who would you pick as the starting quarterback?

Dupuis: If he’s healthy enough to start, it’s gotta be Durant. The guy is our starting quarterback for a reason. Why fan the flames of a quarterback controversy when there’s no need? Until he starts shitting the proverbial bed, Durant is my go-to guy.

Folk: Nealon Greene. Living Rider legend. What else is there to say? Realistically though, you hope for Durant to heal quickly, and aside from that you just put the hot hand in.

Gray: I’d go with Willy. Durant has had his opportunities to win a Grey Cup and while it may not be his fault we lost, last year the offence never got going. It’s time for a change in Riderville and I believe in Drew.

Klein: Ok time to get serious. Although I am the first to make a Durant joke when there is a bad throw, or even a Getzlaf joke when something is dropped, after seeing these last two games, the Riders need Durant. He is just better with his decisions and is quicker with them, which comes with experience. Willy will learn to make these decisions quicker as he develops, but for now, start Durant.

NHL 13 – commonly known as Chell – has finally hit shelves, who is your go-to team to play as and why?

Dupuis: Just so everybody knows, me and the Habs have been the undisputed champions of Chel since Chel ’08. My anonymous friend Dan P. can attest to that. I welcome any and all challengers, but only if you’re willing to put some beer (and your pride) on the line.

Folk: Too easy, the Vancouver Canucks. One simple reason, it’s the best team in the game. It really is undeniable. I pown Britton Gray all the time in Chell while using my Canucks.

Gray: The Ottawa Senators because they are awesome and have an amazing young core group of players. If I do feel like switching it up though, you can’t go wrong with the reigning Stanley Cup champions, the Los Angeles Kings. It’s tough to lose when you have the best goalie in the league.

Klein: Well considering my all-time Chell record is 2-15, I rarely play against other people. One because it is embarrassing to get your ass kicked constantly. And two, no one has ever gotten laid with a 2-15 record, ever. My go-to team is the Calgary Flames, which explains the 2-15 record already.

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