Poetry Corner: Reading week fails


The seven days of laziness

Multiple grains, and other things to ponder (besides homework). / Haley Klassen

Multiple grains, and other things to ponder (besides homework). / Haley Klassen

Reading Week Fails

On the first day of reading week

I open my Shakespeare textbook

Take one look

And say, “Screw it. Netflix time.”

I finish watching House

I start watching White Collar

I have a sports movie marathon

All while never touching my Shakespeare textbook


On the second day of reading week

I pack up my gym bag

iPod, runners, gym clothes, check

Ah, but what the heck?

I say, “Screw it! I want ice cream.”

I devour a DQ blizzard

I consume a chocolate sundae

I eat ice cream straight from the bucket

All while never going to the gym


On the third day of reading week

I open up my fridge

To eat healthy?

Or, not to eat healthy?

And, I say, “Screw it! Cheesecake time.”

I eat chocolate cheesecake for breakfast

I eat strawberry cheesecake for lunch

I eat New York cheesecake for supper

All while never touching the veggies in my fridge


On the fourth day of reading week

I pull out my paper and pen

Ready to write, but then

I say, “Screw it. Let’s draw.”

I draw some sick graffiti

I sketch out a sugar skull

I shade in some flowers

All while never actually starting my essay


On the fifth day of reading week

I lose all hope of doing schoolwork

I stay in bed

As if I’m dead

And I say, “Screw it. Gonna sleep all day.”

I sleep in til 1

I nap from 3-6

I go to bed at 8

All while never thinking about doing homework


On the sixth day of reading week

I look in my cupboards

Should I eat chips?

They’ll go straight to my hips.

Whatever. I say, “Screw it. Chips and dip it is.”

I chow down on tortilla chips

I lather them in spinach dip

I eat and eat. Om nom nom

All while never eating the rice cakes in my cupboard


On the seventh day of reading week

I try to read some Literary Theory

I open my book

I close it after one look

Saying, “Screw it. Playtime with kitty.”

I throw her toy one way

I throw her toy another way

I cuddle with her when she’s tired out

All while never reading any Literary Theory


On the…wait…what day is it?

I lose track of time

I don’t know what day it is

Should I study for a quiz?

Again, I say, “Screw it. Let’s go to the Scotties.”

I watch the Scotties on TSN

I watch the Scotties live

I watch team Manitoba win gold

All while never knowing how much time I have left on reading week


On the last day of reading week

I realize it’s the last day of reading week

I curse the sky

Why? Why? Why?

I exclaim, “Screw this! I need to do work!”

I rush to complete a Hamlet presentation

I scramble to catch up on reading

I struggle to plan and write my essay

All while regretting never doing any of this work during reading week


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