Poetry Corner: Reading week fails
The seven days of laziness
Multiple grains, and other things to ponder (besides homework). / Haley Klassen
Reading Week Fails
On the first day of reading week
I open my Shakespeare textbook
Take one look
And say, “Screw it. Netflix time.”
I finish watching House
I start watching White Collar
I have a sports movie marathon
All while never touching my Shakespeare textbook
On the second day of reading week
I pack up my gym bag
iPod, runners, gym clothes, check
Ah, but what the heck?
I say, “Screw it! I want ice cream.”
I devour a DQ blizzard
I consume a chocolate sundae
I eat ice cream straight from the bucket
All while never going to the gym
On the third day of reading week
I open up my fridge
To eat healthy?
Or, not to eat healthy?
And, I say, “Screw it! Cheesecake time.”
I eat chocolate cheesecake for breakfast
I eat strawberry cheesecake for lunch
I eat New York cheesecake for supper
All while never touching the veggies in my fridge
On the fourth day of reading week
I pull out my paper and pen
Ready to write, but then
I say, “Screw it. Let’s draw.”
I draw some sick graffiti
I sketch out a sugar skull
I shade in some flowers
All while never actually starting my essay
On the fifth day of reading week
I lose all hope of doing schoolwork
I stay in bed
As if I’m dead
And I say, “Screw it. Gonna sleep all day.”
I sleep in til 1
I nap from 3-6
I go to bed at 8
All while never thinking about doing homework
On the sixth day of reading week
I look in my cupboards
Should I eat chips?
They’ll go straight to my hips.
Whatever. I say, “Screw it. Chips and dip it is.”
I chow down on tortilla chips
I lather them in spinach dip
I eat and eat. Om nom nom
All while never eating the rice cakes in my cupboard
On the seventh day of reading week
I try to read some Literary Theory
I open my book
I close it after one look
Saying, “Screw it. Playtime with kitty.”
I throw her toy one way
I throw her toy another way
I cuddle with her when she’s tired out
All while never reading any Literary Theory
On the…wait…what day is it?
I lose track of time
I don’t know what day it is
Should I study for a quiz?
Again, I say, “Screw it. Let’s go to the Scotties.”
I watch the Scotties on TSN
I watch the Scotties live
I watch team Manitoba win gold
All while never knowing how much time I have left on reading week
On the last day of reading week
I realize it’s the last day of reading week
I curse the sky
Why? Why? Why?
I exclaim, “Screw this! I need to do work!”
I rush to complete a Hamlet presentation
I scramble to catch up on reading
I struggle to plan and write my essay
All while regretting never doing any of this work during reading week
