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author: ethan butterfield  a&c editor

Don’t be your own enemy / Pixabay

Please don’t hide your depression.

Have you ever felt like you haven’t earned anything you’ve done? Have you ever felt like you don’t know why life continues to beat you down despite things going well? Have you ever felt like things just don’t seem to be getting better regardless of what you do? Well let me tell you, I feel the exact same way. This may be hard to hear, and I know it was for me, but depression is something that is always with people like us. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been walking down the street, listening to my iPod, when I realized that I didn’t care about the day, or what was happening around me. It all feels so trivial and empty somedays, and I wish I understood why, but the truth of the matter is, I may never know why I’m like this. 

Now this isn’t going to be an article that tries to offer tips and tricks for working past your feelings. No, instead, this is a piece that is trying to tell you help is out there. Even if it doesn’t feel like it, (again, I completely understand) even if it feels like the whole world is trying to take you down, there are people out there willing to listen. It may come in the form of family, friends, co-workers, therapists, who knows, but there is someone who can help. There are people out there who care, even if you haven’t found them yet, they do. 

Of course, that being said, (or even as I’m typing this) I know that it feels like nobody cares or that other people’s needs might be above your own. This is something that I, personally, have needed to work past in regard to my own mindset. The feeling that no one gives a damn about my problems is something that has plagued me for years, and I’m sure many of you feel the same way. Honestly, because of my own assumptions toward what people might be thinking, I’ve never been able to open up and let people know what’s going on in my life. I’ve always been of the headspace that, “Oh, people have their own problems to worry about?” and “Well my problems don’t matter, I should help this person out.” 

Let me just say, whether it’s you or I, problems do matter. Don’t let that type of negative thinking get a foothold in your head, ‘cause once it does, it stays in there good and snug. Now I know what you’re thinking, “Oh, that’s great! I’m cured of all my sadness” and I get that, but the best way to make sure you do get better is to let those around you know what’s up. Now, this thought can be down right terrifying. Speaking about myself again, I’m somebody who just doesn’t feel the need to discuss what is going on in my head. Usually because it’s self-deprecating to the nines, so I feel there’s little point to go into any detail about what is bringing me down. So you’re not alone, don’t think you’re ever alone in the fact that it is scary or uncomfortable to talk about yourself in regard to your own mental health.
So staying on the topic of opening up, what are the easiest ways to do this? The biggest tool that comes to mind is going to therapy or going into counseling. Of course, with that in mind, I realize that these services aren’t for everyone. Whether it’s the cost, personal issues, or whatever may be troubling you, there are certainly alternatives outside of these options. With these options taken into account though, it is some of the best help out there. I know from personal experience that I’ve been able to confront demons that I didn’t know I even had. It has been such a breath of fresh air to talk about a situation in a comfortable and safe location. However, here is something that should be stated before you go and try out these services. Therapy or counseling doesn’t cure your depression or heal your mind after a couple of sessions. It, as my friend puts it, “gives you the tools to help build what you need to combat your anxiety and depression.”
So, I hope what I’ve talked about has helped or been eye opening in some way, shape or form. Again, this is coming from an individual that has been battling some not-so-sunny thoughts for many years; so don’t feel as if I’m trying to bring my opinion onto a subject that I don’t understand. I understand it all to well, so be safe out there.  

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