A woman’s place is in the White House


Author: bodie robinson | contributor


Hillary Clinton – Marc Nozell

Will Clinton be the next President of the United States?


Your favourite former Secretary of State, senator of New York, First Lady of the United States, and pantsuit aficionado, is running for president in the 2016 United States election. Hillary Clinton announced her presidential candidacy on Apr. 12, 2015 to the surprise of probably no one.

The announcement came in the form of a two-minute video. The short video seems to have been pulled straight from some liberal progressive’s wet dream: people planting gardens; a handsome black couple expecting their first child; Hispanic business owners laughing, exchanging banter in Spanish; a gay couple walking down the sidewalk in the manner of an eHarmony commercial. It’s not until a minute and a half into the video that Hillary rears her head.

“Americans have fought their way back from tough economic times, but the deck is still stacked in favour of those at the top. Everyday Americans need a champion. And I want to be that champion.”

Oh, the humility! Electable are those poor in spirit. We’re all very inspired, Hill. Thank you.

Besides this video, very little has been announced since. Normally presidential candidates are quick to make a “vision speech” after they’ve announced their campaign, but Hillary hasn’t done much to that end. Instead of proffering her vision for America, the Clinton campaign has focused its attention on more specific issues.

On Apr. 29, Hillary gave a speech on the perils of racism and crime. The subject of this speech dealt primarily with young black men like Freddie Gray and Eric Garner who have been victims to senseless police brutality. A week later, Hillary gave a speech regarding immigration in America. Shying away from the pro- and anti-immigration dichotomy, Hillary’s speech focused on the primacy of making it easier for illegal immigrants to obtain American citizenship. This approach to the issue, to anyone with a functional square centimeter of grey matter, is a very sober and viable alternative to some of the right’s call for mass deportation.

With her announcement video and the above-mentioned speeches considered, little can be firmly established about what Hillary’s campaign is going to look like. It’s obvious that she is looking to coax in the liberal progressive vote – a demographic that is gaining more and more ground as young Americans grow to voting age – because it worked so favorably for Obama’s campaign. It seems as though the Hillary 2016 campaign run has started off on a firm left foot; but, whether it remains this way or she shifts more to the centre in order to be more palatable remains to be seen. What we can do, though, is extrapolate from Hillary’s previously stated political positions in order to develop a clearer picture of what her policies will look like.

Below I have enumerated a list of themes and issues, which may populate the electoral mind in the upcoming year. I have also included a possible position that Hillary may take based on her previous statements and political career.

1. Minimum Wage

Movin’ on up. Last October she told media, “Don’t let anybody tell you that raising the minimum wage will kill jobs. They always say that…

2. Gay Marriage


3. Trickle-Down Economics

Nope. “That has been tried. That has failed. That has failed rather spectacularly.”

4. War Monger Status

On a scale from Gandhi to Cheney, I give her a 7.6.

5. Corporate Deregulation

Don’t count on it. “I just believe that there’s got to be a healthy tension among all of our institutions in society, and that the market is the driving force behind our prosperity, our freedom in so many respects to make our lives our own but that it cannot be permitted just to run roughshod over people’s lives as well.”

6. Charisma

Good enough. A charming amalgam of Angela Merkel and Kim Jong-Un.

7. Healthcare

Still in question, but leaning more to the universal and affordable end of the spectrum.

8. Patriarchy

Smashed… more or less.

9. Israel and Palestine

Nothing new. During a pro-Israel rally in 2006, she proclaimed, “We are here to show solidarity and support for Israel. We will stand with Israel, because Israel is standing for American values as well as Israeli ones.”

10. Gun Control

Hillary has received an F grade from the National Rifle Association. That can only be good, right?

11. Affiliation with the Reptilian Shapeshifting Illuminati

Still under investigation.

12. Environment

In 2006, The League of Conservation Voters gave Hillary a lifetime 90 Per cent pro-environment action rating.

13. Bill Clinton

Enthusiastically picking out new outfits for his first term as the First Gentleman of the United States.

Comments are closed.