A Space of Their Own features writers from our community. Here’s Zoey Yanush’s poem “I Walk Alone”

Poet: zoey yanush | contributor

by pixabay

“I Walk Alone”

I walk alone

through the battle ground

through the valley

the bullies

throwing their knives

words

they are just words

I tell myself

words

pounding in my head.

These words I relive

I relive over and over again

sometimes I feel

the beating

beating of the drum

with the words

the words he said

worthless

ugly

better off dead

do the world a favour

go kill yourself

go kill yourself.

Grade six on

his words haunted me

day and night

they haunted me

lived in my brain

made me feel.

he was right

By grade 8

was not eating

starving myself

starving myself hoping to change

change

hoping to be someone else

hoping to find a new path.

By grade 9

wanting to die

to take my life away

take my pain away

do it myself

I wanted to die

cause living was worse

than Hell

I, I was already

living in it.

I put on the

fake,

that fake mask

everyday,

Everyday hoping

it would get better

I felt I could not

reach out.

it would make

me weak

no one,

no one would be there.

Someone, someone is there

Someone to reach to

someone to tell

that’s what they said

Not how I felt though.

If I only felt sooner

I question,

what happens then,

What happens when,

you can reach out

reach out earlier?

There is someone there,

look, reach, talk,

it may be late,

but there is someone

there,

I, I walk alone,

I walk alone.