This and that


Ottawa Senators v Pittsburgh PenguinsIt wouldn’t be the NHL without a little controversy

What the Puck?
Autumn McDowell

Sports Editor

Even in their shortened season, the National Hockey League has been home to its fair share of controversy and excitement. From on-ice stabbings to dramatic team turnarounds, just about the only consistent thing about this season is that the Flames still suck.

One of the biggest controversies to stem from this season was when Ottawa Senators defenceman Erik Karlsson took a skate to the back of the leg during a battle along the boards and suffered a severed Achilles tendon that required surgery.

While in most seasons this injury would be seen purely as gruesome and disturbing, due almost entirely to the fact that the slicing skate belonged to Pittsburgh Penguins forward Matt Cooke, this play was deemed much more than a freak accident.

Now I am well aware that the news of modern day goon, Cooke, becoming the first person in the NHL to take his skate and stab someone with it is relatively outdated by now, but I would rather enjoy getting a few things off my chest about this little incident.

First of all, I refuse to believe that Cooke purposely meant to stab Karlsson. Sure, a player should never leave their feet when going for a hit, but people are only saying that he deliberately did it because of the reputation that precedes him.

For years, Cooke has been a shit disturber in the NHL, playing pranks on teammates, going into visiting teams locker rooms to mess with equipment and allowing his small children to skip school to watch daddy play. If it was any other member of the Pittsburgh Penguins team that was in this scuffle, it would have been touted as what it rightfully was: an accident.

And another thing, people are claiming that if Karlsson was wearing a certain type of socks, that it would have helped. This is just idiotic. It’s right up there with people telling you to always be sure to wear shoes when you’re chopping wood. I’m not sure if those people have realized that a shoe has no chance when battling an axe, just as a sock would not do much to protect against an incredibly sharp blade.

The NHL season wouldn’t be complete without some concussion controversy. Cooke’s teammate, Evgeni Malkin, proved once again that concussions are indeed contagious. The ugliest player in the league was recently bitten by the concussion bug and has been forced to take a back seat for at least three games, which hardly compares to Sidney Crosby’s 60 games missed due to a concussion, but Malkin’s used to coming in second to Sid anyway.

Also, I think I speak for everyone when I say, “Montreal, Toronto, like seriously when the fuck did this happen?” I feel like I’m in some type of bizarro world where the worst teams in the league are suddenly fighting to be top dogs, this just isn’t right.

In another bizarre turn of events, guess what Chicago hasn’t done this year? I’ll give you a hint; it’s the opposite of what Calgary has been doing all season. That’s right, Vince Vaughn must be loving this because the Chicago Blackhawks haven’t lost a single game yet this season and are currently riding a 22-game point streak – shattering the old NHL record of 16 games.

If I could live to see an NHL team go undefeated throughout the regular season I could die happy. But just because I said that, I would recommend that everyone bets against Chicago in their next game because I most assuredly jinxed them.

This column may have been the equivalent to someone telling an incredibly long, boring story that you pretend to be interested in only to discover that when they finally wrap things up there was no real point to it whatsoever.

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