Don’t speak to adults as if they were children
“Oh, you poor thing! I am so sorry for you!” said someone to whom I was trying to explain how vaccination works. I know that sounds a wee bit confusing but allow me to give you context.
For the sake of anonymity (and saving my relationship with this person) I shall not name them. The conversation happened during COVID-19 when a lot was said about the potential harmful side effects of vaccines and how vaccination was a government scheme to manipulate the masses. One of my favourite rumors at the time was that vaccines could somehow cause gene alterations. As a science major, I find that endlessly hilarious—but I digress. My attempt during the conversation was explain to this person how vaccines work. I decided to use real life examples to prove my point. That might have been the wrong move in hindsight.
So I told this person how I contracted measles as a child because I was not vaccinated and how my younger brother who had been vaccinated did not get infected. This person completely missed the point I was trying to make and instead just expressed how sorry they were and walked away. I was rather peeved when I walked away from that conversation. Not only did I fail to prove the efficacy of research-backed immunization, I also had to put up with being infantilized by someone not much older than myself.
The notion that someone believes that things must be dumbed down and conveyed to me in a sing-a-song way drives me up the wall. Some people use infantilization as conversation fillers. As soon as someone does that I know they are not actually listening or paying attention. At least that is what happened in the conversation I mentioned earlier. Just the idea that I am being perceived as a child is a little unsettling.
Active and sincere listening is an important part of grown-up conversations. The pretentiousness of talking to another adult as if they were a child does not make one look sweet or kind or empathetic. In fact, it’s insincere, demeaning, and just sounds silly.
I understand that some part of me might also get defensive thinking that what if I am being infantilized because I am a woman. I admit that while that is the case sometimes it is not so always. What I have learned from experience though is that how people behave has a lot to do with them than anyone or anything else. That being said, I would still prefer being talked to like an adult. I would prefer conversations with intellectual banter rather than empty and callous remarks.
I am a grown-up. I’d like words not be sugarcoated and gift-wrapped for me.
