How to fail your 2020 Resolutions with pride

Nothing steals, I mean steels, the soul like the U of R in the new year. Morgan Ortman

It’s all burning to the ground anyway

So, another year has come and gone in 2019 (about time if you ask me) and we now start that age-old tradition of making promises that we can’t keep. I jest, for the most part, of course. There are those out there that do make their New Year’s resolutions and stick to them. It’s just that the vast majority of people don’t. In fact, studies likes ones on the websites for Psychology Today and Forbes show that anywhere from 80 to 90 per cent of people that make New Year’s resolutions, don’t actually achieve them.

Now, again, if you ask me, that sounds like a pretty good reason to give up on the whole thing. “But” I hear the internet say “New year, new me,” “living my best life” and all that. Well one can certainly appreciate the mindset of such individuals that wish to improve the negative aspects of their life. Chances are we’ll all end up at The Owl eventually, so you may as well skip to the part where you have fun, right?

Okay, before I go any further, I just want to say that I do have the utmost respect for people that do set out to achieve their goals, and if you’re dedicated to taking better steps in your life, then more power to you, honest. What I’m getting at is that those who make a resolution, only to not have it pan out about a week in, should just kind of forego the whole process. I’m not saying you can’t try, certainly try if you want to, just don’t feel bad when things fall apart. Shit happens and life goes on, so have a drink and better luck next year.

I spoke to  some students about what their resolutions were going into 2020. It was a solid mix of humour, met with seriousness, with a bit of sarcasm sprinkled on top. You know, what a real resolution should sound like.

Dawson Thompson, Journalism Student – “Talk to my wife more.”

Adam Bent, Journalism Student – “Drink less.”

Jessica Cooper – “Drink more beer . . . lite beer.”

Marty Grande-Sherbert, Carillon  staff writer – “My New Year’s Resolutions are protest more, do more anti-capitalism in a real way.”

Morgan, Multimedia/Graphics team member for the Carillon – “Work on my self-confidence, not giving a fuck, and doing the dishes”

So there you have it, the good, the bad, and the downright honest. One thing that’s interesting to note is the oldie but goodie resolution of “drink less” or in other people’s cases “drink more.” This is a rather common one to make as it’s standard for those to try and adjust what might be affecting them harshly with a drastic change. This also brings up an interesting question: what other resolutions are considered oldies but goodies? According to Parade, these are the top ten most popular New Year’s Resolutions:

  1. Lose Weight
  2. Improve your finances
  3. Exercise
  4. Get a new job
  5. Eat healthier
  6. Manage stress better
  7. Stop smoking
  8. Improve a relationship
  9. Stop procrastinating (I hate it when lists call me out like this).
  10. Set aside time for yourself

Curious enough, drinking in any shape or form doesn’t crack the top ten, at least for this list anyway. I suppose the only thing left to say is my own personal resolution heading into the New Year.

Honestly, I just want to keep being a good person, or at least keep making myself a better person as time goes on. You never stop growing as an individual, and as time goes on, so too does the problems of the world. The biggest strength of character, in my opinion, is being able to deal with the tests that are put in front of you, the tests that the new year puts in front of you. If you want to better yourself, better yourself. If you want to have fun, have fun. Just remember to live a little, laugh a little, and enjoy the little things.

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