How to deal with your team tanking


author: ethan williams | staff writer

The guide to accepting sadness

So there you are, sitting on the edge of your seat. The score is tied and it’s all come down to this. You’ve laughed, you’ve cried, you think you might have even found some deep, meaningful revolution in the past hour or so. But this is it. The one big game that’ll redeem what has been an awful, awful season for your team. Now, the clock is winding down and you can only sit there and pray as things become more hectic. Then, it happens, the crowd cheers and you slouch back in your chair, couch, or other sitting spot. You finally take a breath… and begin to swear at the top of your lungs.

“How could the goalie not stop that?!”, “Why did the pitcher even begin to think that was okay to throw?!”, “What kind of QB can’t huck a ball??”

Excuses after excuses pour out and finally the feeling of despair hits. Your team is tanking. How did it come to this? Well, I can’t tell you that, but I can tell you how to deal with it.

Always next season.
As quick as you can, as fast as you can, get on board for the next season when the current one isn’t going as planned. Sometimes you just have to throw in the towel early when all is said and done. Some may feel this is a defeatist attitude, but those people don’t really understand what it’s like to have the Knicks as your favourite team (at least in the NBA anyway).

The New York Jets Juxtaposition.

So your team didn’t make the playoffs. It’s an unfortunate thing to deal with, but it does happen from time to time (unless you’re the Patriots, I mean oh my God.) Look at it this way, though: your team is not likely to be the worst team in the league. In regard to the NFL, because unless you cheer for the Cleveland Browns, then your team is never, ever going to place last. (Yes, I’m still harping on about the Browns, but they went 0-16. Come on.)

The New York Islanders Inquiry.

If your team is tanking, have faith in the rebuilding process. There’s a good chance that the GM of your favourite franchise knows that there’s something that has gone amiss. Hopefully, there’ll be an upcoming trade, draft, or renegotiation that your team will go through in order to get back on the right track. Take the New York Islanders, for example. Their organization went through a hell of a revamping. That being said, the revamping has more or less taken a hit so bad that they’re at the point of letting Tavares go. But, hey, more time for revamping, I guess.

 The Toronto Blue Jays Bandwagon Experiment

If your team is losing and you need a coping mechanism, then cheer for another team altogether! The good news is there are plenty of franchises to choose from as you betray your devotion and show yourself for the true monster that you are. Or you could just enjoy another team’s success you spazz.

The Buffalo Sabres Extravaganza

At this point, you don’t even know anymore. You think that all of this tanking is good for something, or at least that is what they have been telling you. And yet, after back-to-back years of sub 60-point seasons, you’d think something would show for itself. Unfortunately it’s back to the basement another year running, so the only thing you know what to do is just accept it. There really is no more hope anymore. The team has been bad, it is bad right now, and it is going to be bad in the future. This is the final stage of grief. Acceptance.

From here, just be happy that there are worse things in life to care about. Get your mind of off the day-to-day pain and enjoy the happiness other aspects in life can bring, since not many come from your hockey team. The occasional positive news update might excite you, but feel happy that you have accepted that none of it will ever matter.

Seriously, someone please hug Jack Eichel and tell him everything will be okay in the end. Let us all mourn the early stages of his career.

So, there you have it, all of (or most of) the ways to cope with the fact that your team of choice will amount to nothing season after season. Don’t fret though, there’s always next year right, unless you’re like me and up cheering for teams that don’t do anything regardless of how bad you want them to.

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