author: babbling brooke | contributor
How do I tell my boss I’m in love with her? P.S. I’m gay, she isn’t, but I know she’s single.
Woah, cowboy, okay. Let’s chat, and thank you so much for writing in! Telling someone you love them is a huge step. I’m a romantic and have definitely fallen for people I am not involved with. That being said, though, it’s usually a risky game; this person you’re unloading on is probably going to be completely blindsided. Should they feel the same way, they may be so frazzled they say the wrong thing anyway. This can ruin great friendships and, in your case, possibly disrupt your work environment, which can be extremely damaging and uncomfortable. Getting involved with your boss is usually best saved for X-rated films or romantic comedies (one in the same really). In-office relations, unless you’re Jim and Pam (bless their souls), are complicated and in some cases, policies are put in place making it tough to pursue the relationship.
What’s that you say? You’re a hopeless romantic as well, so screw the system, because you deserve to act on your feelings? Yes, I agree 100 per cent, but really analyze the situation. It’s great she’s single and on the market, so-to-speak, but telling her you love her could put her in an uncomfortable position. Like I said before, this is a total surprise for her. If you’ve hung out with her outside of work and there has been chemistry, then this may not be so shocking. If not, I would say hold on, give it time, and enjoy building a friendship with her. Try not to place an end goal on the friendship, either. Try not to be thinking the whole time whether this is the time to tell her. The other thing, though, is the fact that she’s straight. Everyone falls within a spectrum, so no, most people aren’t totally straight.
Putting it in perspective, though, is always key. How would you feel if a straight person approached you with hopes that you would abandon something quite personal. Your sexuality is malleable but also something most people feel quite comfortable with. How they’ve chosen to identify is a personal choice and by surprising her, she may say something she hasn’t fully thought through (as humans do!). So giving it some time would be my advice. As much as you probably know that, or don’t want to hear it, it’s what I would recommend, mon cheri. But, hey, if you do it, let me know how it goes; I love a good romance!
I’m away for a semester, which means I’m also spending 4 months away from my partner. Any tips on how to stay romantic at a distance?
Staying romantic in a long distance relationship can be difficult, but definitely do-able. It’s great to see couples keeping it going when it gets tough instead of giving up, so that is already admirable. Here is a list of things to keep you feeling connected while doing long-distance:
- HAVE A THING: Have a thing that is ritual, scheduled, no missing under any circumstances! Whether that be a phone call once a week, a television show you two watch simultaneously, or maybe it’s a weekly game of online B Have something you guys do that you can count on.
- BE ENGAGED: It’s easy to take a quick call while your pals are over, but if this is your once-a-week call or maybe they just need to talk, it’s your responsibility to be present. Give them that bit of your time that you are with them 100 per cent. Take interest in the things that may seem like nothing. If you notice sadness in their tone, ask them about it! You won’t talk often, so when you do, be there.
- MAKE PLANS: Now, this is different from number one, because this is in reference to when you are together. You are probably only given a week or a few days to see them, so make it worth it. Obviously, I’m not saying to go hang out with all your friends and never have alone time; I mean do things together. While you are away, you will probably be doing a lot of new things, so when you get home, you will want to relax. Just veg out with your S/O, but make the effort to do new things together! These are your moments together and you don’t want to leave with the thought that nothing ever happens when you are together, because that will make it easier to distance yourselves.
- BE SPONTANEOUS: When you’re away, it’s harder to have that feeling of connectivity. Surprising your S/O with little gifts or cards is a great way to show that you’re thinking of them. Usually, I wouldn’t say that material items matter, but when distance is involved, it’s very easy to feel like you don’t do special things together. Getting a little surprise in the mail is a sure way to keep the romance alive.
- GET CREATIVE: Material gifts are great, but you’re asking about romance. Getting a little sexy over text or whichever platform you choose can be extremely liberating. Most of the time, I feel more confident over text, since the words don’t actually leave my mouth! It goes from being in my head to on the phone, so it’s great; but you have obviously already thought of texting. Duh! One creative idea would be to write a letter, title it “Chapter One.” Fill it with a story of the two of you; maybe it’s a fantasy or maybe it’s totally made up, but make it detailed. Finish it with a cliff-hanger and tell your S/O to continue with “Chapter 2.” This way, you combine sexy with a gift! Other tips are to keep it random. It’s easy to assume sexy time is for after the sun goes down, but sending a sexy pic or text at any hour can be all part of the thrill of being long distance.
- NEVER GO TO BED ANGRY: This is a huge one. DO NOT. DO NOT. DO NOT. This is a huge thing with all relationships. As uncomfortable as it may be in the moment, getting it out before going to bed will make all the difference. Chances are, you’re going to be up thinking about it, Please, never sit on relationship problems. Get them out as soon as possible so that a gap doesn’t build in the relationship.
There you are: six random tips on being romantic while in a long distance relationship. There are so many other things you can do and will do, and that’s all part of the fun. Have the best time wherever you are going!